bertbehrens.com

OK, maybe fanboy isn’t the right term when talking about Chevy guys and Dodge guys. GM and Chrysler may be merging very soon and I am not sure I know what to think of it yet. On the one hand I have always been a Mopar nut and have loved all the Dodge’s I have owned but on the other hand I understand how screwed up the industry is right now for US car makers. The Story goes like this, GM and Chrysler want to get together quickly and have their hands out to the government to get them a wedding gift. I wonder if it will be listed as a “merger of equals” as Chrysler’s last marriage was announced. When Mercedes took over Chrysler they did gain a very valuable thing that GM does not, the Mercedes parts bin which gave Chrysler the parts needed to build their 300, Charger, Magnum and the new hotness of the Challenger. In a merger with GM I worry that many of the Chrysler group products would be shelved and replaced with badge engineered GM’s just like every other GM make. Some products I think will be killed completely due to the competition with GM. The Ram, the Challenger, the Durango and possibly the 300/ Charger due to competition with the Malibu.

The Caravan/ Town and Country I think are safe as they lead a segment that GM has been beaten out of over the last decade. But regardless of what products disappear from the lots I don’t think it will be a very good deal for Mopar fans. It will dilute the blood of the Chrylser products that remain and will remove some models that have small but very rabid fan bases. Here’s the link to the story again in case you missed it. This is the first thing that has scared me about all the economic news this year, scared me quite a bit.

Seriously, if you haven’t heard about it yet then allow me to introduce you to the coolest thing about being a cop since the invention of the gun. Carbon Motor’s has been working on a prototype of their kick ass cop car and just rolled it out in Chicago. Carbon Motors is a new company trying to make KITT a reality. It is set up with all the cop gear loaded into the design of the car which allows everything to look right and probably work better than having to piece it together from 30 different suppliers and get a shop to put it all in and service it.

This car looks like a Pissed off Mazda from the front and has more lights on it than a Vegas casino and has more hidden cameras than Big Brother. It’s built so you can have your belt loaded with all your stuff and still be able to sit down in the car comfortably which I assume would make it easier to operate the vehicle. It also seems amazingly roomy for the front seat of a cop car since there is no laptop on the console, video camera and speed gun on the dash. It feels like a real car, not a garage project that got pulled out two weeks before it was finished.

Sadly, the plan is to buy them all back after the police are done with them. I hope this changes as I would love LOVE to own one even without all the LED warning lights all over. A diesel inline 6 in a roomy car built to be solid as a rock for cops is sure to be a great highway machine. I just know that someday I will see one driving around and purposely do something stupid just so I can have the opportunity to check out every little feature the car has and ask the office all about his experience with it.

Check it out for yourself at Carbon Motors.

I love this movie and love the little collectible die cast cars even more but sadly my obsession has begun to make me angry. I have so many of them that it is now a very difficult task to locate the few stragglers that I don’t already have. They will be releasing some 400 of them before 2011 when Cars 2 hits theatres and I have around 150-170 at last count so I do have a ways to go before I can rest.

Its just irritating when things like the KMart Collector’s event come along and I take the time to run to a KMart only to find 3 Dinoco Chick Hicks and a pile of Mini’s which I have no desire to own. The advertising indicated that they would have 6 cars I needed for my collection that wouldn’t be available anywhere else for a month or two and assumed that I might actually get a chance to pick up a few and be able to get my fix for a few weeks.

Hopefully things will be different when I make my next trip to Wal-Mart will be more fruitful with a few of the new oversized guys like Mack or the jet plane from the race. I tell ya, this thing is worse than a crack sandwich served by pirate hookers. Hard to resist.

Soon we will all be driving electric cars powered by happiness and peace while eating only plants that can psychically tell us that they want to be eaten to help nourish our bodies. But those of us who live on earth and have to actually hold a job and contribute to society have grown up enough to realize that this is not only unlikely but very possibly worse for the environment than what we are already doing.

Electricity has to be made somewhere and our grid is pretty tight as it is when you think back to the entire eastern seaboard going dark because too many people used air conditioning. And generating electricity makes the same people mad that insist we use it for everything. Dams kill fish, nuclear makes you grow extra arms, coal blacks out the sun, solar gives us sunburn and cancer, and all those people peddling the generator bikes smell horrible and are an eyesore.

So we use oil and have done so for only around 100 years. It is still a relatively new way to generate power and year after year we pull more power out of each drop and somehow do it cleaner than before. This is obviously because of protesters picketing outside large buildings and has nothing to do with the scientists and engineers trying to increase efficiency and learn new ways to do things. Thanks hippies, you have made cars better.

But all this oil isn’t just killing the planet, its draining my pocketbook as well. Sadly it isn’t and hasn’t been for years. According to the one source I looked at that wasn’t trying to push either a more expensive solution or a political movement I found some information that didn’t surprise me one bit. Gasoline isn’t stealing my credit cards and robbing liquor stores with a bus full of hookers. The cost as a portion of a family’s income is lower than it was almost 30 years ago. Sure it has gone up but based on their numbers it would have to jump to $5.50/gal in order to equal what it cost us the last time people wore bellbottom jeans. Obviously “Big Oil” has been working overtime to destroy us all.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. IT’S DIFFERENT THIS TIME!!!!!11110101one

Because last time it was different but in a different way with different politicians and cars and hairstyles. This time everyone WILL start driving tiny cars powered by magical leprechauns and happy thoughts. Most of the auto journalists I have read lately have been talking about how great it is that people will stop driving the huge trucks and drinking expensive coffee while chatting on their iPhones. Sorry, its probably not going to make that big of a difference.

The thing I find funny about all the editorials is that after bitching and moaning for months about how evil people are for driving big trucks and sports cars they lust after the next new supercar or massive v12 powered 6 wheel drive mountain climbing luxury truck. But you should feel bad for driving to work in your truck by yourself because you can’t afford to buy a car for commuting and another for pulling your used fishing boat or camping trailer on weekends. Shame on you for not making piles and piles of money.

I guess what I am trying to say is, excuse me? Did you bother to look anything up or did you just spend an afternoon with Green Peace getting high and solving the world’s problems. My only hope is that although the public won’t remember what you said during this price spike hopefully you will and might calm down a bit rather than adding fuel to the irrational fires that the media likes to grab ratings with.

Inside jokes are irritating unless you are in on them and this is no different. If you haven’t heard of Homestar Runner and The Brothers Chaps you would be wise to take a look. They have created a site full of characters that initially appear to be designed to keep kids staring at the screen but quickly the undercurrent of adult humor kicks in and keeps myself and many others coming back for more. The biggest draw of the site is Strong Bad and his Strong Bad e-mail or sbemail as it is commonly known due to its blatant disregard for what a flash comic is supposed to be. It is funny and often unexpected and gets its inspiration from e-mails sent by fans of the site.

Eventually the sheer weight of the inside jokes and poorly written e-mails became too great for a simple internet to handle so Strong Bad propositioned Telltale Games to recreate his universe for PC and Wii owners around the world. Telltale has some experience in creating episodic games from the days of Sam and Max which made them a very good choice to handle this epic task.

OK, I think that’s enough educating, here’s what you need to know. They made 5 games and they are all nestled comfortably below in detail.

SBCGfAP Ep:1 Homestar Ruiner
Being the first episode of the series this title attempts to familiarize you with the universe and expose you to the strange inhabitants of Free Country, USA. An e-mail has arrived that asks why Strong Bad hasn’t beat the snot out of Homestar. This starts off the thin plot of the game and gives you a reason to step away from the Lappy and go cause some mischief. You meet all the main characters many times throughout the game and get a chance to relive many of the best inside jokes of the site in your journey.

The game is fun for those in on the joke but it does have some faults. For a game of this type it is somewhat difficult to determine if you are making progress at certain points in the game and you will find a time or two that you become frustrated trying to figure out what the game wants from you in order to move forward. This is a game for fans of the site and it doesn’t try to change itself to please the uninitiated. The controls are decent and easy to understand with the Wiimote and the game autosaves every time you visit Strong Bad’s house. The graphics are true to the site although now in a 3-D style and the characters don’t lose anything in the transition.

If you are not in on the joke, go. get. in. on. the. joke. Trust me you will find hours of your life have mysteriously disappeared into the website and will start to check back often to see if there is new stuff.

Bottom line on this game is that fans will love it and everyone else will just keep walking on to the next Mario title which is fine. How do you have an inside joke if everyone gets it?

SBCGfAP Ep:2 Strong Badia the Free
Our second journey into Free Country, USA starts with political upheaval and the creation of many nations which Strong Bad must force under the boot of Strong Badia in order to overthrow the King of Town who has levied a tax on e-mails which gets Strong Bad house arrest. The gameplay is the same as Episode 1 but adds a board game and has a more interesting plotline although it is still quite thin.

The jokes in this one are better than the first but there is slightly less exploration as there are only a few new places to explore and they don’t offer much in the way of scenery. We are treated to a second minigame of Math Kickers featuring the Algebros which is still intentionally bad but more playable than Snake Boxer.

The same problems exist but there are fewer times where you will find yourself running for the internet to figure out what to do next and you will find yourself waiting even more impatiently for the next in the series.

Coming soon….

SBCGfAP Ep:3 Baddest of the Bands

aaand two more episodes in the following months.

Come back for updates as they are released.

I dunno, but they certainly are strange. Doing things specifically seem odd to all including themselves.

I am trying to post from the berry again and doing it this time from the normal page although it is ugly and difficult to use this way. I guess it would work in a pinch but not a regular way to post.

If things work as they should with the e-mail posting and whatnot. I will eventually figure this out so I can post from anywhere without having to load up wordpress or do anything like that.

Thanks,

Bert

Just a test but possibly a harbinger of things to come as I become more comfortable posting blog updates from my BlackBerry. Only time will tell…
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

In theory this wordpress software allows me to post updates from any email account in the world but unfortunately I haven’t figured out quite how to do it yet. I will soon though.